U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE GOES SOUR ON NIPPLES


Jezebel reports that the Department of State (DoS) once asked Jennifer Dinoia, a Foreign Service wife, for permission to include her blog on the DoS website.  Some time later, her blog was removed, without explanation.  Mrs. Dinoia had to dig deep to find out the true reason.  And here it is.

It’s her mention of — gasp! screech hysterically! send for smelling salts and faint away! — nipples!

We must understand that Dinoia is a breast cancer survivor, who sometimes blogs about her trials and tribulations as a member of that unfortunate species.  One would think that this would be useful information for thousands of women in the same predicament, but how do you write about the lot of a breast cancer survivor without mentioning you-know-what?

It’s not like Mrs. Dinoia’s prose was lurid or tasteless.  It’s matter-of-fact info that other women would want.  Here’s  one “offending passage.”

Given the delicate nature of the surgery and the long healing process, the, uh, nipple has to be cared for quite carefully.  Lots of antibiotic ointment and, yes, a newly created nipple cozy each and every day for the next three weeks.  I can’t have too much pressure, but have to wear something that keeps all the gauze in place.  The surgical bras (are they made of steel?) help keep it in place, but are just too binding.

Oops!

Boobs, nipples, nipple cozies.  Nuts!  (Uh, I don’t mean the anatomical ones.)

But wait!  Here’s a solution.

What if DoS decided to view the peccant parts as – well – RESET BUTTONS?

As I always say, how many ways are there to spell “putz?”  (Uh, I mean, like, idiot or dummy, not the Yiddish word for…)

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About Michael J. Kubat

I'm a grumpy Czech-born clinical social worker who is vitally interested in the survival in the United States as a viable democracy and a beacon of hope for the rest of the world.
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