Elizabeth Warren, the über-loony Harvard professorette of law and national socialist candidate for the U.S. Senate, says that she is Indian, uh, Amerind, I mean Native American.  As evidence, she said that her aunt said that her grandfather had high cheekbones, “like all Indians do.”

This impeccably scientific assessment is only the latest turn in the ridiculous saga of Warren’s claim to Native American heritage whenever playing this particular race card might prove advantageous to her.  Such as a claim to fame, or at least notoriety, as the “first Native American professor of law at Harvard,” a $150,000 interest-free loan from Harvard, being much caressed by the Obama White House for idiotic economic theories, or getting a leg up in a Senate race against a – collective gasp of horror! – white male.

Calls from genuine Native Americans for Warren to back up her claims have so far gone unanswered, except for sporadic sputtering from Warren that she never, not ever, claimed to be an Indian, or that she only did so to find “others like her.”

Which amounts to little more than the proverbial hill of beans.

But I digress.  I also claim Native American heritage, on account of my aunt Vera’s high cheekbones.  I might add that this is not just some report from a relative – it is something I had witnessed myself. and present here as evidence.

Just check out them impressive zygos on Aunt Vera!  Proof-positive that, at least on my mother’s side, I’m firmly ensconced as a member of the South Bohemian Band of Cherokee (originally known as Doudlebové).

It’s a little more problematic on my father’s side – no prominent cheekbones that I remember.  But he was a Jew, and the Northern Cherokee Nation of Old Louisiana Territory claims Jewish roots, and so it all sort of fits together, in a postmodern, minority-worshiping, non-linear thinking, politically correct kind of way…

Anyway, you get the picture.  I am a redskin, through and through.

So, somebody’d better start showering me with benefits, and soon, or I’m going straight to Eric Holder to complain!


About Michael J. Kubat

I'm a grumpy Czech-born clinical social worker who is vitally interested in the survival in the United States as a viable democracy and a beacon of hope for the rest of the world.
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