SILLY CIRCUMLOCUTIONS


All this talk of “kinetic military action” and similar high-sounding but nonsensical phrases brings to mind a recent conversation with our veterinarian.  Our new pup Jasper, being the omnivore that he is, had recently swallowed a pebble.  The result was a g-d-awful mess in the house, with fluids coming out of him at both ends of the alimentary tract until – CLUNK! – he’d finally passed the pebble.

The amiable vet didn’t call the event “a flood of barf and sh-t”but a “dietary indiscretion,” which made me chuckle all the way home.  His phrase was kindly meant and eminently civilized: something you might have heard in Jane Austen’s drawing room.  Me, I prefer to go one better: what happened was a “acute kinetic bi-terminal excretory action.”

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About Michael J. Kubat

I'm a grumpy Czech-born clinical social worker who is vitally interested in the survival in the United States as a viable democracy and a beacon of hope for the rest of the world.
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