All this talk of “kinetic military action” and similar high-sounding but nonsensical phrases brings to mind a recent conversation with our veterinarian. Our new pup Jasper, being the omnivore that he is, had recently swallowed a pebble. The result was a g-d-awful mess in the house, with fluids coming out of him at both ends of the alimentary tract until – CLUNK! – he’d finally passed the pebble.
The amiable vet didn’t call the event “a flood of barf and sh-t”but a “dietary indiscretion,” which made me chuckle all the way home. His phrase was kindly meant and eminently civilized: something you might have heard in Jane Austen’s drawing room. Me, I prefer to go one better: what happened was a “acute kinetic bi-terminal excretory action.”