UPDATE! FIRE BURN AND CAULDRON BUBBLE!


Per the Czech online news site iDNES, the Romanian government has declared war on witches.

Even worse, actually.  Last month, the Romanian Parliament passed a law making fortunetelling a taxable profession.  Last week, Romanian practitioners of the milennia-old profession received more body blows.  Witches, seers, card-readers, necromancers, sibyls and such will now have to get licenses to practice.  They now must issue clients receipts for any honoraria received.  They may no longer ply their professions near schools and churches.  Worst of all, they will be liable for readings that do not come true: the punishment will be jail time or a fine.

Bratara Buzea (photo courtesy AP)

These developments have Romanian witches seething and bubbling with rage.  Bratara Buzea, chief Romanian witch who had been imprisoned by the Communist regime for practicing witchcraft, declared that the government should blame the cards, not the witches.  She also declared that the witches will fight back tooth and claw.  Already, they had collectively cursed the president and government, adding spice to the curse by throwing poisonous mandrake leaves into the Danube.  They also plan to sprinkle a potion prepared from dead dogs and cat feces around government buildings in Bucharest, strengthening the effect with additional curses.

There is no information on how the Romanian government intends to protect itself from the country’s warlike witches, nor has there been any word from the White House on how the U. S. Government plans to address this emerging crisis.

UPDATE, February 11, 2011.

This morning, I found a dead squirrel by my driveway, and, nearby, an enormous turkey vulture, with a good six-foot wingspan if it was an inch.

The vulture monitored the house from the air and from neighboring roofs for some time before flying off.

Perhaps I didn’t speak of the Romanian witches’ dilemma respectfully enough, or else it might be a sign of displeasure communicated by in the White House.

Only time will tell.

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About Michael J. Kubat

I'm a grumpy Czech-born clinical social worker who is vitally interested in the survival in the United States as a viable democracy and a beacon of hope for the rest of the world.
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