The indispensable Jewish World Review gives us a fun story by the equally indispensable Celia Rivenbark (a name personally selected for her by J. R. R. Tolkien) titled Speaking Her Mind by Pushing His Buttons.
No, it’s not the latest faux marital relations counseling system, although it could be. It is, instead, a sad (but funny) commentary on contemporary intersex relations, as all-too-accurately seen by the toy giant, Mattel. Mattel, we must understand, has just introduced a new companion to Barbie called “Sweet Talkin’ Ken,” a.k.a. “The Ultimate Boyfriend for All Occasions.” The great thing about this Zombie
is that it has a big heart on his T-shirt, which conceals a button that activates a mike into which Ken’s masteress can speak up to five seconds of what Barbie presumably desires to hear from her property. The lucky owner of Zombie Ken (!) can also choose Ken ‘s normal voice, the owner’s voice, or a high-pitched voice.
If you’re not yet laughing and weeping at the same time, you need therapy. In any case, to start howling in earnest and avoid therapy that just might be delivered by some lucky owner of The New Ken (compare New Soviet Man), please read elven Celia Riverbark’s article in toto.
By the way, we can also file this in the every-dark-cloud-has-a-silver-lining category. This is one of the most effective pro-capitalist and anti-socialist articles I’ve ever read. Who but a “capitalist pig-dog trample-on-the-downtrodden bloodsucker-and-exploiter far-right profit-monger” would so accurately gauge the spirit of a people and promptly follow up by developing and mass-producing what was really wanted? A centralized governmental planning organization (compare Gosplan)? Don’t make me laugh.